last night i had a dream, that i instantly forgot once i woke up,
but i was left with that feeling that i get whenever i know that
something new is about to happen, where the expectations
are all over the place because there is no way to tell
what could happen, what couldn’t happen, 
what will happen.

it was like the beginning of the summer break before 7th grade
when my head was still able to be filled with hopeful thoughts
of video games, comic books and endless days
of debauchery and shenanigans that only
a child knows how to still believe in.

i open the door to our room and smile because: there you are, sitting,
sporting a furrowed brow, your eyes focused on reading one of my books;
I cant help but laugh because the only things I have ever seen you read are
restaurant menus, instruction manuals, and the occasional Sunday comic strip.

but, there you are, your eyelids pressed together, forming an intense glare; 
there is a determined look on your face that I’ve only ever seen once before: 
it was our first road trip and you refused to believe you got us lost, for hours
(you were studying the map so hard that you failed to notice it was
upside down the entire time and you wouldn’t let me tell you).
you were clearly on a mission, not to be bothered. 

Iaughing again, I tell you not to hurt yourself, and you tell me to shut up,
explaining that you are trying to find the passage that I read to you
last night before we fell asleep with only our pinkies linked, loosely,
with room between us because you like your space & i like mine.

I remembered that it was the story of
two lovers that didn’t make sense,
“just like us,” you said, except:
we do, because,
there you are,
reading.